OK, so here is the Math for Week 4. Hope to keep this up for the next few weeks, but I do have a job. And, as always, I hate the Patriots and love the Colts. So no hate mail.
Here we go.
Sal Bonpensiero (from the Sopranos) + Jenna Jameson's + Tom Brady = Big Pussies (Seriously, Tom Brady asking for that foul on the Suggs hit made me hate him. So does the fact that he is a champion and fucks one of the hottest women ever.)
black holes + Dirt Devil vacuums + a Kardashian on a first date with a professional athlete = things that don't suck as hard as Jamarcus Russell
Manning + 4 wins + Manning + 4 wins + Saints + 4 wins = Archie Manning with a rock hard boner
Eli + pain = Eli - pain (When that kid shows an emotion, please let me know)
Tampa - a football team = Tampa right now
Brett Favre + motivation = wow
1 sissy + 1 sissy + 1 sissy + 1 sissy + 1 sissy = The Green Bay Packers offensive line
a maniac + steroids + cocaine = Jared Allen
The Bengals + a winning record = confusion...is it 2012 already? Does the world end tomorrow?
Hitler + Stalin - compassion - class = Eric Mangini
Hitler + Stalin - compassion - class + amazing coaching skill = Bill Belichick
Garcon + Collie + Brown = a smile on NFL Math's face
LT (the real one) + Ray Lewis circa 2000 = Patrick Willis right now...damn!!!
a douchebag nose + douchebag eyes + a douchebag mouth = Jay Cutler
a great team - a nose tackle - a defensive coordinator = the grease fire known as the Tennessee Titans
a sneaky good QB + a bowling ball RB + surprising spunk = The Jacksonville Jaguars
a man updating a resume + a man putting up his house for sale + a man breaking the news that they are moving to his family = Jim Zorn
52 teammates + all his coaches + the media + his parents + Obama + the tooth fairy = things that will soon be thrown under a bus by Terrell Owens
Vinnie Chase's face - constant ball washing (at least this week) = Mark Sanchez
Forrest Gump with a head set + Brett Favre with a spagetti arm + a man whose plastic surgery is starting to make him look like Joan Rivers - discipline - a defense that cares + good running backs = The Dallas Cowboys
sticking a rusty nail through your dick + fucking Amy Winehouse without a condom + new Coke = better ideas than throwing back to back passes to a receiver covered by Champ Bailey. I MEAN, REALLY, TONY!!!! REALLY!!!!!!!!
a running back - all his talent = LaDainian Tomlinson right now
a running back + a swift kick in the ass from his coach + a great game = Rashard Mendenhall...Tomlin is pretty cool
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