Week 5 Math

Sorry for the delay, but without further ado, here is Week 5 Math (including Monday Night)

Leprechauns + Horseshoes + 4 leaf clovers + George W Bush = The only things luckier than the Dallas Cowboys

INT + INT + INT + INT + INT + Lost Fumble + Another win = Tony Romo

A little girl wearing mittens + Edward Scissorhands = People who can catch the ball better than TO

A 53 yard field goal + another 53 yard field goal after a bullshit timeout = Suck it, Dick Jauron!

Bad coaching decision + Bad coaching decision + Bad coaching decision + Bad coaching decision + Bad coaching decision + Bad coaching decision = The Buffalo Bills coaching staff

Bad coaching decision + Bad life decisions + a cunt = Bobby Petrino

Alge Crumpler + rant against Petrino = Crumpler being the newest official favorite player of NFL Math

The Colts + injury + injury + injury + injury + injury = VICTORY, BITCHES!!!!

Dallas Clark + that hit he took = OUCH, that hit hurt me!

Patriots + Cowboys = Anyone who doesn't make it a point to see this game is not a real football fan

Brady + Romo = a lot of getting laid going on

Trent Green = a lot of getting laid out going on

Burress + injury = Better than every other receiver in the league without an injury...that guy is playing like a fucking man!

Nails + Brick Walls + Chevy Trucks + Stonehenge = The only things tougher than the Pittsburgh Steelers

An offensive touchdown by the niners + A victory by the Rams or Dolphins = Things that will never happen

That kid from Jerry McGuire + That kid from The Sixth Sense + That kid from Little Miss Sunshine = People who look more mature than Jake Cutler

Ego + Ego + Ego + No talent to work with = Mike Shanahan

Ego + Ego + Ego + Talent to work with = Bill Belichick

Stallone in Over the Top + Popeye + Brett Favre in the mid 90s = The only people with stronger arms than Jason Campbell. Have you seen this guy throw?

A newborn + Olive Oil + Frank Stallone = The only people with weaker arms than Chad Pennington...BENCH HIM!!!

Leinart getting hurt + Husband starting for rest of season = Brenda Warner's evil prayers to Satan being answered

The Jaguars + The Chiefs = boring football

A bad interception + bad clock namagement = Finally, Brett Favre shows his true colors!

A few good throws + only 1 INT + a good completion percentage + a win = The Chicago Bears QB for the 1st time since, oh, 1985

See you next week.