Week 3 Math

Here are all the pre Rose Bowl Rematch math problems


Bill Belichick + Bill Clinton + Barry Bonds = Cheaters

Another Patriots Superbowl victory + A wife in the Whitehouse + The homerun record = Proof that Cheaters always win!

Colts + a win on the road + 40 yards allowed rushing = Hope against Cheaters

Colts + another goddam kickoff TD allowed = FUCK!

Toughness + Agility = Addai (I Love Him!)

McNabb + 4 TDs + perfect passer rating + blowout win = Suck it, Critics...and whitey!

Favre + 3 TDs + Victory + 3-0 record = Suck it, NFL Math!

Loss + Loss + Loss + Loss = Norv Turner's coaching career

Britney + Paris + Lohan + the Broncos = things that have had their vaginas exposed

Cutting off my penis with a sharp rock + gouging out my eyes with Q-tips + having sex with Rosie O'Donnell without a condom + hanging out with OJ in Vegas = things I would rather do than watch the first half of the Bears vs. Cowboys again

Threatening to sell pictures of Lovie Smith fucking a goat + threats of suicide = What Rex Grossman must be doing to remain QB of the Bears

Tears + Rage + Fustration = Every fantasy owner with the 1st pick in their draft this year

A little bit of pride + A little bit of effort + the hope that Tom Coughlin would die of surprise = The Giants performance in the 2nd half

A Chiefs victory + A Raiders victory = NFL Math dying of surprise

Great running + Good coaching + Great Defense - mistakes from a soon to be exposed loser at QB = The Pittsburgh Steelers

A QB who would rather be in heaven + a QB who would rather be at Sky Bar = The Arizona Cardinals

A mediocre performance + A mediocre performance + A mediocre performance = The Seattle Seahawks

ME + ME + ME + ME = Chad Johnson

Dolphins + Jets = Lost Causes

Another loss + No hope on the horizon = Arthur Blank lobbying to get Vick on a work release program

Bobby Petrino = A cunt! Fuck him!!!!

A loss to a team coached by Herm Edwards + Tarvaris as my QB + the assurance that Favre will break the TD record in my team's stadium = a bad week to be a Vikings fan

Tampa Bay + victories = Fleeting

A blackhole + Jenna Jameson + A vacuum cleaner = Things that suck harder than the Rams

That's all for this week. I'll comment on the Monday night game tomorrow.